| This column attributed to Catholic Memorial O Gravity Gravity Jingle Bells Oh – Sin Theta-One Times Index One Photons of Light Deck the Physics Lab O Little Physics Reference Sheet Joy to the World | This column attributed to 1, 3, 10 The Physics Teacher 12 Dennis McNulty Warren Central High School Indianapolis IN. 13, 14, 15 credit to Northern Arizona University Faculty The rest are credited to “Unknown” 1. We Three Quarks 2. God Rest Ye Merry Physics Profs 3. Deck the Halls V2.1, V2.2, V2.3 4. If You Throw a Ball on High 5. Oh, High T-C 6. Awake in the Library 7. Frosty the Photon 8. Oh Feigenbaum 9. Cold Fusion 10. Photocells 11. Oh Physicist 12. The Twelve Days of Newton 13. We Three Deans 14. James Clerk Maxwell 15. We Wish We Were Passing Physics |
| O Gravity (Melody: O Christmas Tree) O Gravity, O Gravity, All Newton’s theories crowning, Where e’er we be, land, air, or sea, We’re subject to your “downing” F equals G, m-one, m-two, All over R squared, yes, it’s true. O Gravity, O Gravity, We cannot flee, you guarantee! | l. We Three Quarks (to the tune of ‘We Three Kings’) We three quarks fine particles are Bearing charm we travel afar Fields and forces, spin of course is Multiplied by h-bar. Oh, quarks are wondrous, quarks are light Quarks have colors, clear and bright. Still misleading, still exceeding All the physicists’ insight. We three quarks trade gluons all day All baryons are made in this way. Confined inside, we always hide Unseen forever stay. Oh, quarks are wondrous, quarks are light Quarks stay snugly out of sight. Still misleading, still exceeding All the physicists’ insight. |
| Gravity Jingle Bells (Melody: Jingle Bells) When something hits the earth, You’ll notice in a trice, It makes a great big bang, Now isn’t that so nice? So what makes things fall down? What makes them go ker-plop? The answer’s in this song, my friend, We’ll sing it ’till we drop. Oh! Gravity, Gravity, Keeps us on the ground. It was explained by Newton, (The scientist renowned)! Gravity, Gravity, Mass times nine-point-eight. Is a vector pointing down, That’s sometimes known as “weight.” Walk around the earth. Keep a steady pace. If gravity weren’t there, You’d float away in space. Now some call it a push– Well, call it any name, But gravity will always PULL– Attraction is its game! Oh! Gravity, Gravity, Keeps us on the ground. It was explained by Newton, (The scientist renowned)! Gravity, Gravity, Mass times nine-point-eight. Is a vector pointing down, That’s sometimes known as “weight.” | 2. God Rest Ye merry Physics Profs (to the tune of “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”) God rest ye merry Physics profs Let nothing you dismay. Don’t moan or cry if you must all Grade finals Christmas Day To save you from the registrar If grades aren’t on the way. Chorus: Oh, oh, tidings of A’s, B’s, and C’s Mostly C’s Oh, oh, tidings of A’s, B’s, and C’s. In Wes-le-yan, in Phys-ics The teachers do not scorn Assignments that can only Be done by early morn No wonder when we come to class we all look so forlorn. Chorus: From God our Heav’nly Father The laws of physics came And unto certain Physicists Did he reveal the same. And now we have to learn them all On threat of F’s and shame. Chorus: |
| Oh – Sin Theta-One Times Index One (Melody: God Rest Ye merry, Gentlemen) Light travels in straight lines, that is unless somehow it’s turned. It can reflect (or bounce right back), But that’s quite eas’ly learned. Refraction is the property with which we’re now concerned: Chorus: Oh – Sin theta-one times index one is equal to Sin theta-two times index two! Refraction is the bending which is caused by changing speed. When entering at an angle, light will bend, and then proceed– to travel in a new straight line, wherever that may lead. Oh – Sin theta-one times index one is equal to Sin theta-two times index two! Now since the bending’s caused by changing speed, we have a clue To calculate light’s speed in any medium, (it’s true!) n-one v-one is equal to n-two times v-two. Oh – Sin theta-one times index one is equal to Sin theta-two times index two! When slowing down the light bends ‘toward the normal’ as they say. When speeding-up it will bend from the normal away — Until the angle critical is reached to our dismay! Oh – Sin theta-one times index one is equal to Sin theta-two times index two! | 3. Deck the Halls v2.1 Deck the halls with spools of wire.. Fa, la, la, etc. My oscilloscope’s on fire … Who has taken my resistors?… Sing a song of bad transistors. Fill the lab with amplifiers Fa, la, la, etc. My new circuit has no wires… All the op-amps have no gain… Electronics is a pain. Work till midnight, then work longer… Watch that circuit get still wronger… If it has a major defect… Fix it has an honors project. Shoot the walls with Star Wars’ phasors… Made from Hunter’s diode lasers… Though they glow with opalescence… Still can’t see the damn fluorescence. V2.2. Deck the Halls Deck the halls with boughs of chaos Fa, la, la, etc. strange attractors swirl around us…. Fluids bubble, periods double,… Bifurcations wake a torus…. V2.3 Deck the Physics Lab Deck the physics lab with lenses, (fa,la,la…) Light bends more when they are densest, (fa,la,la…) We can now observe reflection, (fa,la,la…) Not to mention its direction, (fa,la,la…) Stroboscopes are swiftly turning, (fa,la,la…) While our eager minds are learning, (fa,la,la…) Light diffraction we can now see, (fa,la,la…) See how fun our physics can be, (ha,ha,ha…) |
| Photons of Light (Melody: Silent Night) Photons of light, Sparkling bright, Energy in the night. Energy like a stash in the bank. Frequency times the constant of Planck. Energy we can use… use it as we choose. | 4. If You Throw a Ball on High (to the tune of “Angels We Have Heard on High”) If you throw a ball on high Central forces bring it nigh If it starts out upward bound Further east it will be found Cor…..iolis In acceleration Cor…….iolis In acceleration Use Lorentz’s transform law Yes, I see dee tee dee tau Relativity is fun Four vec-tors are quickly done Lor…….entz In acceleration Lor….entz In acceleration It you send your twin away She will have a slower day. If you watch each other’s clocks Then you have a paradox, Ein……stein In time dilation Ein……stein In time dilation Superconductivity There’s no resistivity But it stops at three degrees So we work in the deep freeze. He……..lium In refrigeration He…….lium In refrigeration |
| Deck the Physics Lab (Melody: Deck the Halls) Deck the Physics lab with vectors (Fa la la la la la la la la la) And with laser light reflectors (Fa la la la la la la la la la) Let us have a celebration (Fa la la la la la la la la) Full of song and jubilation (Fa la la la la la la la la ) Deck the lab and be of good cheer. (Fa la la la la la la la la la) No more Physics classes this year! (Fa la la la la la la la la) But one question can be foreseen… (Fa la la la la la la la la) Who the heck knows what these words mean: “Fa la la la la la la la la”? | 5. Oh, High T-C (to the tune of “Oh Tannenbaum”) Oh high T-C, Oh high T-C Is your limit yet approaching? Oh high T-C, Oh high T-C You bring us fame and funding. We put in grams of yttrium, And copper ox- ide, chewing gum. Oh high T-C, Oh high T-C, We’ve thrown out all the helium. Oh high T-C, Oh high T-C, We push you to infinity. Oh high T-C, Oh high T-C, There’s no net resistivity. The theory’s crude and rough and wrong, But NSF will love this song. Oh high T-C, Oh high T-C, You bring us fame and funding. |
| O Little Physics Reference Sheet (Melody: O Little Town of Bethlehem) O Little Physics Reference Sheet, so much information’s here. With our Mechanics, Waves, and Heat, You’ve helped us a lot this year. The speeds of light and sound and refractive indicies, They all are here, We shall not fear, While holding facts like these. And lots of useful formulae, are tabulated here. They help refresh our memories, when recall is less-than-clear. For Distance-Time relations, and laws of E and M, will sometimes blur, so we refer To you to look for them. Specific Heats, and Boiling points, and trigonometric sines, Though highly prized, aren’t memorized. They’re looked-up within your lines. Examinations final are not too far away. We know that you will help us through The physics Judgment-day. | 6. Awake in the Library ( to the tune of “Away in a Manger” ) Awake in the library Late Saturday night, The poor physics majors Pondered their plight. The problem set lo-ong and no end in sight. Of all of the answers Not one was right. They used all the tricks that The teachers had taught: Expand about zero then Drop x sub-naught. Divide the right si-ide By modulo z. If that doesn’t work, Let pi approach three. So up in the library At four in the morn, The poor physics majors of All hopes were shorn. The sun rose that morning; The stars went away. But through their next classes Asleep there they lay. |
| Joy to the World (Melody: Joy To The World) Joy to the World, the last dumb song Is over — now we’re through! Our singing we will not prolong– (That’s what you hoped for all along). Christmas greetings we renew Merry Christmas now to you, Christmas greetings we now renew, Merry Christmas, and adieu! | 7. Frosty the Photon ( to the tune of ‘Frosty the Snowman’ ) Frosty the photon Escaped from a black hole, Then he used his spin To find his kin, Near the ends of a dipole. Frosty the photon With momentum h-bar-k Though he had the right To be known as light, He was called a gamma ray. |
| 8. Oh Feigenbaum (to the tune of “Oh Tannenbaum”) Oh Feigenbaum, Oh Feigenbaum Your numbers do delight us. Oh Feigenbaum, Oh Feigenbaum They quantify the chaos. Your alphas scale when periods flip; Your deltas tell us when to split. Oh Feigenbaum, Oh Feigenbaum Your numbers do delight us. Oh Feigenbaum, Oh Feigenbaum Your numbers have awakened Oh Feigenbaum, Oh Feigenbaum A field long God-forsaken. Two point five oh two nine oh And four point six six nine two oh Oh Feigenbaum, Oh Feigenbaum Your numbers do delight us. | |
| 9. Cold Fusion (to the tune of “Hark the Herald Angels Sing”) Call the press and M-T-V Do not write to AJP, I claim heat and neutrons nine; The Nobel Prize will soon be mine. Deut’trons fuse and cook and simmer, Plat-i-num is now the winner. Hark the Times may now proclaim Yes, cold fusion is my game. Call the news, TV and press. We’re deep in this fusion mess; Skeptics claim that I of course Have forgot the Coulomb force. More heat out than I put in, Not believing is a sin. Throw away your red hot plasma; Use your laser to treat asthma. Now Dan Rather can proclaim Breakthrough results, success and fame. Call the press, yes, that’s my creed. Ten million dollars is what I need. | |
| 10. Photocells (to the tune of “Jingle Bells”) Dashing through space-time At the speed of light Through vector fields we go With our colors bright. Keeping constant speed In every frame is right. Oh what fun it is to be a photon in the night. Chorus: Decibels, photocells, Now I’m going to lase. Oh what fun it is to be a boson in the rays. Hey! Grad of dels, colored gels, Diffraction grating blaze. Oh what fun it is to be a boson in the rays. Cut across the lab By a mirror steered Through the slits we go Nothing do we fear. Back again we come To the screen we’ve veered, Oh what fun it is to be a photon interfered. Chorus… | |
| 11. Oh Physicist (sung to the tune of “Oh Christmas Tree”) When we were young and freshman all We thought that physics was a ball But that is true if only you Can make approximations, In early days we thought the fuss Was just about the calculus. Chorus: Oh Physicist, Oh Physicist I wish that I could be one. In sophomore year when we met del We still thought all was going well But all the wells that we could see Were bounded at infinity. When we found out that quarks were strange It did not make our majors change. Chorus.. By junior year we knew we ought To wave good-bye to normal thought. Our minds began to get disturbed When shown how orbits are perturbed. We never guessed that the Master key Meant late night labs we could not flee. Chorus.. It’s senior year, the time draws near That brings the end of classes. We find that we amazed must be To think our profs will pass us. When it comes time to graduate, We hope we’ll be in solid state. Chorus… To graduate school we now are bound And 10 years hence will still be found A decade’s work is all for naught Because a square root I forgot We realize our Ph.D. is waiting at infinity. Chorus… | |
| 12. The Twelve Days of Newton On the first day of Newton , Sir Isaac gave to me The acceleration due to Gravity On the second day of Newton , Sir Isaac gave to me Two torques a balanced On the third day of Newton , Sir Isaac gave to me Three laws of motion On the fourth day of Newton , Sir Isaac gave to me Four apples falling On the fifth day of Newton , Sir Isaac gave to me Five Newton’s rings On the sixth day of Newton , Sir Isaac gave to me Six point six seven On the seventh day of Newton , Sir Isaac gave to me Seven spectrum colors On the eighth day of Newton , Sir Isaac gave to me Eight mints of money On the ninth day of Newton , Sir Isaac gave to me Nine point eight On the tenth day of Newton , Sir Isaac gave to me Ten z-components On the eleventh day of Newton , Sir Isaac gave to me Eleven speeds of sound On the twelfth day of Newton , Sir Isaac gave to me Twelve particles of light | |
| 13. We Three Deans (Tune: We Three Kings) We three deans have budgets of woe Still we have a half year to go. Funding lacking we go tracking after elusive dough. Ooh, Ooh, money’s tight, the budget’s bad. Students think that they’ve been had. Raise tuition, cause attrition Oh, we are so very sad! | |
| 14. James Clerk Maxwell (Tune: Good King Wenceslas) James Clerk Maxwell did look out On the fields of Faraday. Where the charge lay round about Scattered this and that‑a‑way. Twisted boundaries in and out Raised to strange potentials. If solutions could be found, It would be providential. Then came four equations out With assorted Theorems, Complex singularities, Maxwell didn’t fear ’em. Tamed the demons, wrote a book, Set right former errors. Gave to theorists pure delight, And to students terrors! | |
| 15. We Wish We Were Passing Physics (Tune: We Wish You a Merry Christmas) We wish we were passing Physics, We wish we were passing Physics, We wish we were passing Physics, Well, there’s always next year. Mechanics is not Good tidings to us, Mechanics and Newton can wait one more year. We wish we were passing Physics… | |
Wesleyan University Dept. of Physics
